My Father is my Sister-in-law's Husband...Say What?

Lately I've been doing the drudge work of genealogy and family history research, recording information that I had previously found on Ancestry about the branches on a family line that I haven't looked at for about a decade. Of course, with all the new collections being digitized and put online hosted by various sites I have been coming across records that answer questions I didn't even know I had. I even have  those "Say what?" moments. This is one such case.

Some background first...

The branch of the family I've been working on is that of the descendants of Alexander Fraser and Sarah Howell. Alexander and Sarah came to settle in the Perth Military Settlement (in what later became Lanark County, Ontario, Canada) after Alexander's service in the British Army during the Napoleonic War and War of 1812 era. I had already researched my direct line, those descended from their eldest daughter Ann but I'd been "avoiding" looking at the descendants of other 11 surviving children ever since I started my "genealogy do-over" in 2011. I knew there was going to be a lot of typing and researching to do since I follow each line until I can go no further.

I'm fortunate that I have a book written by Louise Agnes (nee Fraser) Milne titled "Fraser : a short history of the Fraser clan and our own branch of Frasers in Canada and the United States". That book includes a "Fraser Genealogical Table" at the back listing the various children of Alexander and Sarah along with their descendants and even possibly their spouses. She probably did her research like many others at the time, by sending letters out to various family members to gather names of even more family members. One challenge (amongst others) is that only names are given and no sources are provided. But it is a starting place and can offer clues.

Now, on with the journey. Oh, and hang on to your hats, it is a bumpy ride!

I'd been working adding the children of Sarah Fraser, the 4th child of Alexander and Sarah, and the wife of John Mills into my Legacy Family Tree master database when I came across a challenge with the daughter of Lydia Mills (daughter of John Mills and Sarah Fraser) and her husband John A. Coates. This branch drew a lot of "hmmm" and "WTF?" when I was working on it.

The first "hmmm" was in the 1881 census of Canada where I found Annie Coats in the household of John and Sarah Mills. I knew from earlier research that John and Sarah's daughter, Lydia Ann Mills, had married a John Albert Coates. It also helped that the Fraser book also included an Annie Mae Coates as a child of John A. Coates and Lydia Mills. So I was fairly certain that the Annie Coats in the census was that child. but that census doesn't state family relationships.

1881 census of Canada, Ontario, district 122, sub-district F-1, p. 45, dwelling 143, family 186, household of John Mills; RG 31; digital images, Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 22 Jul 2020); citing Library and Archives Canada microfilm C-13239.

What I quickly discovered, thanks to those who contribute to Find A Grave, is that Lydia died 28 May 1876 and was buried in the Marmora Common Cemetery. Based on some of the dates I've seen, I'm guessing it might have been due to complications from child birth.

I next came across her in the 1891 census of Canada, still in the household of John and Sarah Mills. Except this time she is recorded as a daughter. Hmmm.

1891 census of Canada, Ontario, district 74, sub-district J, p. 40-41, family 187, household of John Mills; RG 31; digital images, Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 22 Jul 2020); citing Library and Archives Canada microfilm T-6343.

Could this Annie May Mills be the daughter of John and Sarah? Contrary to what some of the trees on Ancestry may have one believe, it is very unlikely just due to what was recorded in the 1881 census and what is in the Fraser book.

Just an aside...What I knew about John Albert Coates at that time was that he was 23 years old (born abut 1852) when he married Lydia Ann Mills in Marmora, Ontario, Canada on 23 Jun 1875. He was born in Rochester, New York, USA, the son of John and Ann Coates and he was a carriage maker. I have found a few John A. Coates in the 1881 and 1891 census enumerations of Canada. By checking out the various birth registrations for the children of the John A. Coates along with census enumerations and marriage registrations I was able to eliminate each one as a possible candidate.

Yet Annie seemed to have disappeared from Canada after 1891. So it was off to the next possible clue in the Fraser book, that she married a Carl W. Oldenburg and had four children: Louise Sophia, Frederick Albert, Ida Mae, and Neva Beatrice. It was off to do a general search looking for this family on Ancestry. To my surprise I found them, although missing Louise Sophia, in the 1920 Federal census of the United States residing in Michigan.

1920 U.S. census, Oakland County, Michigan, population schedule, Township of Milford, enumeration district (ED) 173, sheet 5A, dwelling 104, family 105, household of Carl Oldenburg; digital images, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 23 Jul 2020); citing National Archives and Records Administration microfilm T625, roll 789.

With a bit more research it turned out that Louise had married Norme R. Bowers on 30 Aug 1919. But I did find her with the family in the 1910 Federal census of the USA.

Could a marriage record be found for Anna/Annie May Coates and Carl W. Oldenburg? That took a bit more research but I came across one for Carl W. Oldenburg, born in Germany, son of Ernest Oldenburg and Louisa Severt, and May Coats, born in Canada, daughter of Bert Coate and unknown mother.

"Michigan, Marriage Records, 1867-1952," database, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 23 Jul 2020), entry for May Coats and Carl W Oldenburg, married 26 May 1900; citing Michigan Department of Community Health, Division of Vital Records and Health Statistics; Lansing, MI, USA; Michigan, Marriage Records, 1867-1952; Film: 68; Film Description: 1900 Delta-1900 Mackinac.

Bert Coate? Could this be John Albert Coates? Might he be in the same neck of the woods?

In the 1900 census of Grand Rapids, Kent County, Michigan I came across an Albert Coates, husband to Lena with a daughter, Hazel, in the household.

1900 U.S. census, Kent County, Michigan, population schedule, Grand Rapids, enumeration district (ED) 69, sheet 17B, dwelling 353, family 383, household of Albert Coates; digital images, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 24 Jul 2020); citing National Archives and Records Administration microfilm T623.

Hey, he's born in New York. That's a good sign since, if you recall, in his marriage registration to Lydia Ann Mills he stated he was born in Rochester, New York. But, just like we saw in Ontario, John A. Coates or even Albert Coates, isn't unique as a name. Can we find a marriage registration for John Albert Coates or variations thereof ?

After quite a bit of work and following the records I did!

"Michigan, Marriage Records, 1867-1952," database, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 25 Jul 2020), entry for Bert Coater and Lena Oldenburg, married 25 Jul 1898; citing Michigan Department of Community Health, Division of Vital Records and Health Statistics; Lansing, MI, USA; Michigan, Marriage Records, 1867-1952; Film: 62; Film Description: 1898 Eaton-1898 Marquette.

His father is John Coates and his mother is Anna Wolcott and Albert is born in Rochester, New York. I also abstracted the 1910 and 1920 census enumerations for Albert and Lena and on the 1910 enumeration his name is recorded and John Albert Coates. I'm pretty sure that Albert Coates in this record is the same person that married Lydia Ann Mills. On this marriage record page for the county it even stated that he had one marriage before this one. Hmmm, so did Lena. Since I try to document the spouses also it was time to look at Lena Oldenburg.

If you though it was confusing before I won't get into all of the issues with Lena Oldenburg but it turns out she married an Eper Van Louten/Flouten on 8 Feb 1897¹, filed for divorce on 2 Apr 1897 and was granted a divorce on 21 Dec 1897². In that marriage registration it states that her father was Arnest Oldenb... and Louse Miller. Of course, in the marriage to John her mother was recorded as unknown and father was "Geo." Nothing like inconsistency to drive a researcher around the bend!

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your perspective), Lena died in 1921 and Ancestry has the "Michigan, Death Records, 1867-1952" collection that include images.

Michigan Department of Community Health, Division for Vital Records and Health Statistics, "Michigan, Deaths Records 1867-1950," database, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 24 Jul 2020), entry for John Coates, died 1 Oct 1934.

In the block for her parents they are listed as Earnest Oldenberg and Louise Siebert. It just so happens that there is an Ernest and Louise Oldenburg in the 1900 Federal census of the USA in Grand Rapid, Kent County, Michigan.

1900 U.S. census, Kent County, Michigan, population schedule, Grand Rapids, enumeration district (ED) 74, sheet 10A, dwelling 1862, family 195, Ernest Oldenburg; digital images, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 23 Jul 2020); citing National Archives and Records Administration microfilm T623.

If you look closely, you will also see a son Carl and a daughter-in-law, May, of Canada, living in the same household. Hmmm.

The Louise Siebert in Lena's death registration could be the Louisa Severt that we found in the Carl Oldenburg's marriage record if pronunciation variations are taken into account. For that a side trip to Germany was required. OK, not actually travel to Germany but the "Germany, Lutheran Baptisms, Marriages, and Burials, 1500-1971" collection on Ancestry provided me a clue. There I learned that Carl was born Carl Johann Heinrich Oldenburg, the son of Ernst Johann Christian Friederich Oldenburg and Luise Christine Caroline Sievert. A bit of anglicizing of the forename and saying Luise's surname out loud and you can see how the variations in the spelling appeared.

Of course I'd like to use the 1890 census for that area to see if Ernest, Louisa, Carl and Lena were in the same household. Alas one gotcha with researching in the United States is almost all of the 1890 Federal census was lost in a fire in the Commerce Building in Washington, D.C. In theory I should be able to find Lena and Carl and the rest of the Oldenburg family in the 1880 census of the United States since Lena was supposedly born in Michigan by that year, at least according to her death registration, but no such luck (so far).

However, it was newspaper death notice that clinched the connection between Lena Oldenburg and Annie May Coates:

"Obituary - Coates," The Grand Rapids Press, 2 Oct 1934, p. 2, col. 2; digital images, GenealogyBank (www.genealogybank.com : accessed 24 Jul 2020), Newspaper Archives.

Since it is a bit small, here is what was written:

COATES - John A. Coates, aged 81, passed away Monday evening at the residence 547 Crosby-st. N. W. Surviving are two daughters Mrs. Hazel Kline of Grand Rapids and Mrs. May Oldenburg of Wixom; three sons, Albert Coates, LeRoy Coates and George Coates, all of Grand Rapids; eleven grandchildren and four great-granchchildren. Funeral services will be held at 2 o'clock Thursday afternoon at the residence. Interment in Greenwood cemetery.

Recall that in the 1900 census there was a daughter Hazel recorded along with his wife Lena. After a bit more research I was able to locate Hazel's marriage to Percy Webster Kline. Hazel was residing in Grand Rapids between 1930 and 1940 according to the census records. His other daughter, May Oldenburg, is recorded as residing in Wixom, Oakland County, Michigan. That would be Annie May Coates who married Carl W. Oldenburg and they are in Wixom in the 1930 and 1940 census enumerations. From census enumerations, death registration, and newspaper notices I know hat Albert, LeRoy and George are all children of John Albert and Lena.

What we end up with is the family tree below:

Two Generation Tree of Annie May Coates

As we can see in this very basic two generation family tree diagram (dotted lines indicate marriage and solid lines are blood connection), after all is said and done, John Albert Oates is both the father by blood of Annie May Coates and also the husband of her sister-in-law. The relationships get even more interesting between the children of John Albert Coates-Lena Oldenburg and the children of Annie May Coates-Carl Oldenburg.

And don't even get me started about the challenges of trying to figure out Hazel Coates. It turns out she appears to be the daughter of Lena and her first husband.

Through all this I had to follow various family lines including siblings, parents, and children to knit together this strangely interesting family unit. Census enumerations in both Canada and the USA, marriage records, death registrations, grave markers, and newspapers all played an important part in understanding this family.

Nothing like a little bit of confusion to keep you on your toes!

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1. "Michigan, Marriage Records, 1867-1952," database, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 25 Jul 2020), entry for Eli Van Flouten and Lena Oldenburg, married 8 Feb 1897; citing Michigan Department of Community Health, Division of Vital Records and Health Statistics; Lansing, MI, USA; Michigan, Marriage Records, 1867-1952; Film: 60; Film Description: 1897 Kent-1897 St Clair.

2. "Michigan, Divorce Records, 1897-1952," database, Ancestry (www.ancestry.com : accessed 25 Jul 2020), entry for Lena Van Louten and Eper Van Louten, granted 21 Dec 1897.